Sunday, 30 June 2013

Monckton - The Movie

Embargoed until 31 June 2013

Paraquat Films in association with Portcullis Production proudly announce that the film "Monckton - The Movie" has begun shooting on location in the House of Lords.  The film, due for release 30 February 2014, is the story of a plucky English underdog played by Rowan Atkinson ("Mr Bean's Computer Models" and "Johnny English Recalculated From Cherry Picked Date") standing up to the multitrillion dollar budget of the shadowy organisation known only as the Climate Scientists.

Key characters from the life of Christopher Monckton, 3rd something or other of place no one's heard of, will be featured, including Dame Helen Mirren (we know she usually plays the Queen but Meryl Streep was booked) as Baroness Margaret Thatcher, Russell Crowe as the minion Anthony Watts who, being American, thinks anyone called Lord must be totally wonderful, and Beaker from The Muppets as James Oxford Gaduate Delingpole.

The evil baddies in the film, Michael Mann (played by Bruce Willis - "Die Hard With A Hockey Stick") and Phil Jones, head of the even more sinister organisation, the CRU Crew (played by Alan Rickman ("Robin Emails", "Harry Potter & The Hyped Up Scandal of Climategate"), are in aplot to take over the world and run in with a single new world government, powered by evil wind turbines and absolutely no fossil fuels.  Monckton, while selling expensive puzzles and shirts in London, learns of this and blows the whistle.

With only some powerful relatives (Lord Nigel Lawson, played by Terry Jones, famous for "Monty Python's Meaning Of Data") and fighting the House of Lords authorities, Monckton takes his PowerPoint lectures on tours of Australia where he locks horns with scientists who actually know what they're talking about but still includes the errors.

The conclusion of the film occurs on an Italian mountain road when his tour bus skids and ends up teetering on the brink of falling over the edge and into the valley. Monckton and his denialist friends can only watch helplessly as a pile of cherry picked spaghetti plots slides towards the back of the bus while Monckton utters the words that will go own in cinema history: "Hang on lads, I've got a great idea for a post at Watts Up With That."

The soundtrack will include such famous songs as Here Comes The Sun, Blowing In The Wind and Let It Snow.  All by the original artists (except the Beatles and Dylan tracks, they asked for too much).


  1. Yes, I read about this upcoming movie to the day three months ago

  2. Funniest climate science related thing I have read for a long time.