Revealed - the leaked memo from the BBC's Head Of Crackpots

TO: Head of BBC News
From: BBC Head Of Crackpots

Subject: Crackpots providing balance to BBC news stories

Sir or Madam

I write in reply to your request for information on sources of information that could be used to balance news stories on scientific matters. 

Any mention of the Longitude Prize should require someone from the Flat Earth Society to be present to give the counter-balancing argument that although there is a consensus about the shape of the Earth, the science is not settled and I feel the BBC should recognise this fact.

The planned programmes celebrating the 45th anniversary of the first Moon landing should have a Moon landing denier present on the Breakfast sofa to counterbalance the space historians and retired Buzz Aldrin that will be there because, as we know, there is considerable doubt amongst some people who really ought to get out more or learn to use the Internet better and I feel the BBC should recognise this fact.

Talking of space, there must be a heliocentric solar system denier present whenever any astronomy programmes are talking about the planets.  Get rid of Brian Cox from Starwatching Live and replace him with someone who adheres to the Ptolemaic system.  I feel the BBC should reflect the doubt.

And on a similar subject, when the news covered the gravity waves left over from the Big Bang story a few weeks back, there was no fundamentalist Christian quoting Genesis.  I feel the BBC should reflect this point of view.

Evolution - do we need to have only scientists discussing stories about fossils and missing links.  What about Ken Ham to provide some counterbalance?  He knows his stuff, has a good line about bananas and is available at the drop of a hat.  I think the BBC should reflect this line of thinking.

But on the subject of climate change, I think it is right that we abandon the crackpots and idiotic thinking that this subject seems to attract.  Why do we think we can just bring on anyone who has opened a copy of the Mail On Sunday and proclaims themselves a climate change expert when there have been scientists who have been studying this all their adult lives and actually know what they are talking about?  I mean, that interview with James Delingpole just showed him up as an ignorant buffoon.  Nigel Lawson just comes across as a pompous twerp and God help us if we ever book Upper Class Twit Of The Century Christopher, Lord Monckton.  I feel the BBC would be going too far if we reflected their ill educated views.

I welcome your response.

Signed

Elias Mooseblaster
Head of Crackpots